Imaginary speech

My dearest countrymen,

Now I’m standing in front of you. Surviving the bruising electoral race. I stand tall and triumph. It is all because of you. And now it’s my turn to pay back and fulfill my promises.

In 60 days. I will clean this country and will get rid of these criminals.

So dare me mga putang ina niyo. Do bad things and tonight you’ll dine in hell. But be thankful, you’ll get a credit in history as the first criminal to be executed in my administration.

As I said during my campaign: pwede naman kayong mag negosyo. Magpatayo kayo ng furenaria. Let it help bloom our economy. Immigrants are not an exception, specially those drug courier. Slip drugs to my country and you’ll end up blind folded facing a firing squad. And those rapist and child molester, mga putang ina niyo, ako subukan niyo, ako mismo magbababa ng switch ng silya elektrika na uupan ninyo.

  To gain success we must first impliment discipline. It is time to sacrifice our pitty for good. Yes, I know you’ll raise your brows and complain that death penalty is inhumane but neither the crime they do is humane. They even do worse. I will not let another child be a victim of drug abuse, rape or violence. I will not let another sinfull hand lay upon an innocent. So expect a new program in T.V that will televise the execution.

       The use of solar energy for more efficient and reliable source of electricity will be develope. Nevermind the petition of those heartless rich guy in Meralco to shelve the idea, for it will harm their multi-million income. If it proves to be a success, NAIA will never be the same no more. Or atleast, distance itself from shameful controversy involving power shortage or Brown out. To those “laglag” bala gang, consider this a warning. Do that in my governance, i’ll put bullet in your temple. Mga putangina niyo.
 
    (Nawalan nako ng idea wahahaha.)

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